Do You Think I'm Tabloidy????

[Daryn Kagan]

I got in a discussion yesterday w/someone on Twitter who accused me of being tabloidy! I know! Gasp!

I explain all in today's blog.

Check that out. Then I'd love to know your thoughts on asking questions no one is asking, Natasha Richardson, and organ donation.

Thanks!

[Erin]

I don't think it's tacky or tabloidy. And while it IS a personal family decision, I don't think asking it is a bad thing. I'm not famous, but I've had plenty of people ask me if I'm an organ donor. I proudly pull out my ID and show them the little heart that signifies my comittment to donating my organs. But maybe she thought it was inappropriate to ask because Mrs. Richardson had passed away? Well, I have to say, I've lost 2 children due to heart defects (both of whom received homografts), and I've had others ask me if I donated their organs after they passed... I tried, but because of the defect and the surgeries, they weren't candidates for organ donation. I never took it to be rude, intrusive, or .. definitely not tabloidy.

[HJ Rose]

When your life has been touched by the generosity of an organ donor, your whole perspective changes. My wife had her transplanted kidney for almost 20 years; the change in our life was immense and much for the better. I have too often seen situations in hospitals where physicians are reluctant to ask the family if they will consider organ donation for fear of offending them. In some country's they don't ask if you are a donor, they assume you are unless told otherwise. I have "vanity" plates on my car that have a simple message; they say "Be An Organ Donor" - "Give Life". If that's tabloidy, I will proudly wear that label. The shortage of donated organs is critical and until you get that 3 AM call that tells you they've found an organ for you or your loved one, you can never appreciate the kindness of the donor family. Trust me, it's far better than winning the lottery.

Organ donation is the most unselfish gift you can give; think of it as recycling life. In my humble opinion, doctors have an obligation to at least ask.

So, Daryn, if you are being tabloidy, sign me up as your number one supporter.

[Adam]

Your a very classy tabloidy :) Is tabloidy even a word?

[Karl Martin]

Daryn,

Here's my two cents worth. I don't believe for one minute you were using tabloid journalism tactics (aka; tabloidy) when referring to this matter of organ donation. However, your twitter follower, perceived it differently. Unfortunately, this is the problem with electronic communication.You can be well intentioned, and thoughtful, but it all depends on how your words are interpreted by the reader. Although Twitter is a popular means of communication, it is a poor medium for useful discussion, considering you are only allowed 140 characters each message.

Even using messages like we are doing here can be incomplete and misinterpreted and require a little leeway, to give the writer (in this case, me) the benefit of the doubt.

Finally, (and forgive me if I sound harsh, not my intention) the question of organ donation as we appear to agree on, is a very personal decision, to varying degrees, depending on the family and their personal experiences. It's a choice that may always be controversial whether agreeing to sign a donor card or not. If Natasha Richardson has not signed a donor card, allowing her organs to be donated, would public opinion (of her) be different, possibly negative, and would that be fair?

Finally (again) I just have to make a comment about your Twitter follower who used the words Tabloidy and Tacky. There are better (nicer) ways to give your opinion, and if you can't do it on properly with Twitter, try using the something like the forum Daryn has set up here. You are certainly entitled to your opinion, and it's always good to hear both sides of a story.

Finally (I mean it this time), Daryn, at least you aren't in as much hot water as the President is, with his remark about his bowling ability and Special Olympics reference, last night on the Jay Leno show.

[Judy Vorfeld]

Not tabloid or tacky. Richardson was, in a sense, partly public property. She was an icon, and an amazing woman. Therefore it's appropriate to bring up things like organ donation. I have a vanity plate that recommends organ donations.

One of my grandsons died about ten years ago. He took his own life, yet amid all the agony and conflicts that arise at such a time, his immediate family chose to donate his organs. They later heard back regarding those who were given a new lease on life as a result of this organ donation. Not for one second do any of the family members regret organ donations.

The grief Richardson's family feels is inexpressible, but I suspect that organ donation was mentioned. I'm sure her family made the right decision based on everyone involved. Perhaps one day we'll know. Perhaps not.

One thing I didn't know was that organ donation organizations have an age limit. When my elderly husband was in a hospice facility shortly before his death (over four years ago), I mentioned that he wanted his organs donated, but he was over 80, and that was the limit.

Big issue. Lots of sides. Important to keep before the public. Thanks for doing this, Daryn.

[Daryn Kagan]

Judy--

Thank you for sharing your own family's story. I very much appreciate that and everything you bring here to this community!

Daryn.

[Jean]

No. I think that you raised very legitimate questions. I too wondered about the donor situation. While the sharing of information might help many, I'm sure they are in so much shock to think clearly.
In terms of your point about her great life, yes I see it. However, I still think everything about the death is profoundly sad, her great life not withstanding. From everything that I read about her, she was deeply affected by her childhood. Her parents were divorced; her mother spent more time on her causes than her children; her father was predominantly gay. She seemed to perceive her greatest achievement as the creation of a stable two parent marriage for her children. I think that she would have traded everything to be there for her boys during the challenging teen years and beyond. She appeared to be a mother first and foremost. She didn't get to finish her work there.

[Daryn Kagan]

Thanks to everyone who is weighing in on this topic. Really good thoughts.
It's the kind of discussion I love to see here on DarynKagan.com.

My intention in asking the questions about Natasha Richardson stems from my days as a news anchor. My fancy approach for asking questions was never to sound like the smartest kid on the block who could ask the longest question. Rather, I just always asked myself, "What do I wonder about this story?" I figured if I wondered something, chances were someone at home wondered it, too.

Worked for 12 years on CNN and appears to be working here, now, as well.

Thanks!

[John Gordon Hudson]

Daryn; Its not a topic one thinks about in the open very often. Tabloidy, no I don't think so, but it appears we have created a new buzzword!
Tabloids make up stories, this is a rhetorical question that just seems to be a moral Taboo in our society.
If Liam Nielsen and his sons donated Natasha's organs, like everyone else who donates organs, it usually is kept very quiet. Hospitals and Funeral services are very hush about this as the system is not very efficient and not all organs donated end up in use by a recipient. This is not due to a lack of effort on the system but sometimes your organs just are not good candidates after we hit 40 or they simply cannot find a match. Many families are now not informed about the final status of loved ones organs due to privacy concerns from the recipient unless there is a disease or genetic failure issue. What I like is that it is a good question. It should not be a taboo for us to discuss.

[HJ Rose]

The issues of privacy and organ viability have come up in this discussion and I would like the weigh in from a personal perspective. First viability: donated organs do have a "shelf life". My wife received a kidney that was very near its 36 hour "expiration" date. It lasted almost 20 years. We knew individuals that had transplanted organs with undetected diseases who later developed those diseases. That was in the 1980's and huge advancements have been made in that area as have techniques to extend organ viability. The main problem is that there are not enough donated organs.

As for privacy, this is a delicate issue. When my wife received her transplant, we were told nothing about the donor. It was only by accident that I learned some information. The secrecy is for good cause. It prevents us from taking undue advantage of the situation. For example, "You owe me because we donated our relative's organs." or conversely "How can I ever repay you for your donation." About 10 years after my wife's transplant, she was offered the opportunity to write a letter to the donor family. It was anonymous on both ends but if the donor family wished to contact us, they would be given the appropriated information. They chose not to contact us and I can only assume that it was a pain they did not wish to relive. I can certainly respect that. It does not lessen the magnitude of their generosity or the unselfish gesture they made in donating their loved one's organs. What I guess I'm saying is that it is not so much a question of secrecy for the sake of secrecy but more a question of easing the on-going pain or feeling of obligation.

[HJ Rose]

Well, to close the loop, found this on msnbc.com today.

"Richardson’s organs donated after death"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29880925/

So Daryn, your original thoughts and questions were right on target and most definitely not tabloidy.

[Karl Martin]

Thanks for the link HJ. It's nice to hear the family decided to come public with this statement. However, from the wording in the article it sounds like the family decided to donate her organs, only after she passed away. So maybe she wasn't originally a donor, although I'm sure she would be pleased knowing her family made this generous choice.

What a coincidence; just as I was writing this, there's a story on CNN, about how Natasha Richardson's organs saved a young girl's life, who suffered the same type of head injury after being hit with a baseball.